In The Know panelists discuss yesterday's truck accident, and why nothing was done to prevent the vehicle from accidentally spiraling out of control and killing rafters in canyon below. Truck Accident...
The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves. Obama Win Causes...
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. Pretend You Give...
An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: onion.com '9/11 Conspiracy...
Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: onion.com Are We Giving...
With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert. Should The...
Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever. Breaking News:...
Tech Trends' Jeff Tate explains the new service that pairs insufferable Apple customers with New Apple Friend...
Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: onion.com Multiple Stab...
Long time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams' enjoyable, engaging prequal betrays what Star Trek is all about. Trekkies Bash New...
Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military. More coverage at: onion.com 'Gays Too...
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. Supreme Court:...
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food. Domino's Tests...
The new feature reduces Google phone users' cell phone costs while providing them with unobtrusive, personalized ads delivered in a friendly whisper. New Google Phone...
Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls. Disney...
Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out. Sources Warn...
The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes. More coverage at: onion.com Blockbuster...
World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft. More coverage at: onion.com Warcraft Sequel...
Name: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Release date: November 10, 2009 Platform(s): PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 Publisher(s): Activision Blizzard Developer(s): Infinity Ward World Premiere...
Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines. More coverage at: onion.com Army Holds Annual...
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: onion.com Poll: Bullshit Is...
Jim and Tracy welcome fallen firefighter Logan Norelli's wife on Today NOW! for a special tribute to a true American hero and total smokin' hottie. Incredibly Sexy...
Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts. 12-Year-Old Boy...
Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row. More coverage at: www.onion.com Ninja Parade...

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